Name: Amy Paris
Born: 1971
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Former Religious Affiliation: None
My Story
I have never been religious. My parents had been raised in religious homes, but had grown out of their faiths, as I’d delicately put it. So I was raised in a non-religious household, and was never exposed to religion at home at all. We celebrated a very secular x-mas (taking the “Christ” out of it, don’t you know), full of presents and food and family, but certainly without church or even reference to the meaning of x-mas. Ditto Easter – we had Easter baskets and bunnies and candy and eggs, but never went to church or discussed rebirth or any of that. It was a hallmark holiday at my house – sanitized of any and all religious content.
I did, however, go to a Christian school from kindergarten until third grade – the formative years, some would say. We lived in an urban area with a poorly funded and staffed school district, so a parochial school was a much better option in terms of education and safety than the public schools were.
At that school, we had to go to chapel during school hours every Wednesday. I remember liking the stories the reverend told (like the Good Samaritan, etc.), but for some reason, I never thought I was supposed to believe they actually happened, or that they were true. I never bought any of it, even at such a young age, and I didn’t realize I should have. I liked the moral lessons the biblical stories taught, but I thought they were like Aesop’s fables – just fictional stories told to make a point – certainly not reality, not history.
I also remember asking my mom why they were always passing around that basket in chapel, asking for money. I just couldn’t understand why god, who was supposed to have created the entire universe (which obviously required major start up funding), always needed money. Couldn’t he just make some? My mother just laughed and said she wished she had the answer to that one herself.
As I got a little older, I could tell that people really did believe the stuff that the pastor talked about in chapel, as well as in the bible. So as an older child, I would go to my friends’ churches with them on occasion, to see if I could make sense out of them, and to see if any one of them made more sense than the others. Because it had to make sense, or people wouldn’t believe it, right?
So I went to Episcopalian, Roman Catholic, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Unitarian, and Baptist churches, but thought they were all equally impossible to believe. I went to Synagogue with my Jewish friends, to see if that was any better. None of them sat right with me, though.
In college, I majored in anthropology, and chose comparative religions as a double major. I guess I was still trying to figure out what it was that made people buy into religion, and why it seemed to be such a driving force in so many peoples’ lives – especially when it seemed so fluffy and empty and wrong to me. I learned about religions logically, and enjoyed doing so. But I couldn’t make the leap to faith.
Despite all I’ve learned, I’m clearly just hard wired not to believe any of it in a faithful way. That’s a good thing, in terms of thinking for myself and doubting authority and taking the path less traveled by. I need to see it, touch it, hear it, feel it – whatever it is – before I believe it. I need evidence. The fact of the matter is that I have to go by what my life’s experience has taught me, and that is that there is no evidence and no higher power.
I have learned that this life is all there is – no afterlife, no heaven, no hell – and that this life is beautiful. I learned that we don’t need any supernatural force to guide us through. There’s beauty in being able to do it on our own. As Douglas Adams once said, “Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
I’m very vocal about my disbelief, and don’t encounter any direct disdain for it anymore, although I’m sure there is plenty being said behind the scenes. That’s fine by me. I don’t have to be like everyone else or feel accepted by them. I have family and friends who all love me despite my disbelief. They know I’m a good person who works hard and raises a family and treats people with kindness and respect. What I believe beyond that doesn’t seem to matter. And why should it?
Tagged with: 1971 • Amy • anthropology • chapel • tithing
6 Comments
Leave a Comment
Donate to our cause
Get Social With Us
Reminds me how my son, when he was three was watching a TV evangelist spot and later he said he said a prayer but the answer must have gone to the wrong house.
How can they feed on such
innocence?
@Mike. That’s cute. I have a friend, today a very devote Christian woman, who when she was little in Sunday school class, one day blurted out. “Oh, you mean these stories are supposed to be REAL!” Children can be pretty good judges of what is baloney.
amy my story is so like yers ,,,it made me laugh my mom believes were aliens so we laugh at everything all the time !!!!nice to meet you ,,..im at david scheurer in kirksville missouri on facebook!!!!friend me sometime!!!!!sincerely david!!!!!
Sad noone has told anyone to focus on the point or the issue rather than the drama around it. i.e focus on the moral and move on, whether the stories were made or happened does not matter. Human life is such that the drama entices us, the point misses us ALL THE TIME. Similarly when it comes to GOD – the priests take over and GOD goes to the back ground.
We’ve heard of the survival of the fittest theory. Wherein in the olden age the fittest survived, if that was true the how come good behaviour came into being, why did we learning sharing? How did man start to see the point? Where did wisdom come from? Why is one man more tolerant than the other? why did countries eventually become democratic? Even though democracy says every one is equal we still read about racism / inequality and stuff everywhere. Why?
Because everywhere there are humans and humans err all the time and there are humans who also forgive and there are (most) humans who do both. So humans are stuck between right and wrong all the time and take the side of whichever, as and how it suits them and not because right is right and wrong is wrong.
Amy, you sound to be a good person hence you’ve been guarded by the good you’ve done. What you need to focus on, is how to improve on being a better person. Take yourself to a higher level, be more giving, more learning, learning newer stuff, living just about for need and not greed (for yourself .i.e) you need not compromise on your family’s need, but you can be aware of yours and keep asking yourself do i need it / can i do without it / can i give to someone who needs it more than me / keep doing it and then you’ll start to experiencing the force which holds this earth in one piece. You’ll start to see the side of people which may scare you or endear you.
Why are some born as / in – rich / poor / healthy / sick / happy / sad / in large families / homeless / developed countries / deserts / farms. One house affected by storm the neighbouring house in perfect shape. The car ahead of you is in a crash or you are in a crash and not the car behind you. Why should there be regulation – i’m talking of nature – who relgulates it. Once summer extends other time rains in odd seasons. How come earth somehow seems to calm down after the fury of some natural calamity?
If there was no method to this madness wouldn’t it be madness ALL THE TIME? Or No madness and peace all the time. Why does it seem as if some balancing is happening whether it makes sense or not something keeps happening ALL THE TIME.
Whats beyond the earth? There are billions of plantes / stars / galaxies – if there is life on earth wouldn’t there be life on some other planet as well, that too when billions of them are present?
GOD – MY FRIEND, is the answer. Seek HIM and you shall find HIM. If priests / churchs don’t help seek HIM directly, start talking to HIM, ask HIM as many questions and be aware of the subtle answers that come your way. Keep it simple in the beginning.
Dear sir, if you are truly puzzled by and curious about the answers you ask in your post, I HIGHLY recommend the writings of Richard Dawkins to you. Start with “The Selfish Gene”, and don’t let the title fool you – at least give it a try.
Micheal if you talking to me then i’d like you to know that i’m not puzzled about anything. And as for the part “curious about the answers you ask in your post” I’ve no clue what you trying to say here.