Location: Potsdam, NY
Organization affiliation: None at the moment
Former Religious Affiliation: I was originally raised to be a Catholic. However, in 6th grade, my family stopped going to church. At 9th grade I was agnostic. I remained Agnostic until the start of college.
Growing up, I had a lot of things happen to me. I was alone, I was bullied, I was belittled by my peers, and I didn’t have any friends. All of these things left me with a low self confidence, zero sense of self worth, and even led to bouts of depression. It took me quite a while before I would truly understand the concepts of religion, but in about 8th grade I began a search for it. I looked at various churches and organizations: I prayed on occasion; and I tried to open myself up the Jesus Christ.
I prayed for confidence. I prayed for self-esteem. I prayed for solutions too my problems. No matter how many times I prayed, I never received an answer. Nothing changed, and I had no help.
I learned that I couldn’t count on religion to solve my problems. I found that the only help and wisdom I can receive are from people on Earth. I lost any possibility of faith in a Lord or Creator that I had when I was agnostic. Now that I am acknowledging my atheism, I have become more confident in myself. Now that I define who I am, rather than a religious deity, I realize that such doubt and uncertainty for myself, my future, and my religion only weighed me down and lowered my self esteem even more. Finding myself has allowed me the satisfaction of feeling important; of feeling special; of feeling like a true person.
I would suggest to anyone who is unsure to really take a good look at religion. It is a very personal thing, so one must analyze and interpret their own ideas in order to understand their beliefs.
Tagged with: 1993 • Agnostic • bullied • catholic • John • New York • prayer