Location: North Carolina
Former Religious Affiliation: Christian
About Me: I have always been very curious about the world I came to be in, and I was always told that there was a god watching my life. Luckily, my dad told me at a young age to always ask “why”, so I did. I wondered why couldn’t I see this god, or feel it. It was always so unreal to me, until I went to a Christian camp my mother convinced me to go to. I did feel a sense of community there, but that wasn’t god, that was just belonging. I was offered to be saved at the camp, but I declined because I was too shy to come up in front of people to do it. The counselors told me that if I want to accept Jesus into my heart at home, that would be fine as well since “the lord” is everywhere and always watching. So I did just that, but… I never really felt anything. I would pray for the next week or so, asking god to show himself to me, but nothing ever happened. I thought that if god can do anything, he can surely show me something extraordinary that I couldn’t explain, so I asked for things like that, but they never happened.
I forgot about god for a while until I was about 14 and was learning about evolution in my 8th grade science class. My teacher was a Christian and reluctant to teach the chapters on the subject, but I was fascinated by it. I already had a big interest in dinosaurs and paleontology, but I never delved into the subject of evolutionary biology, and once I did, all of those timelines and phylogenetic trees in the books I had, made so much more sense to me. Life itself made much more sense to me. I read up more about the beginning of the Earth and how it was formed during this time as well, and I was talking to my mother about it on a ride into town one day and she told me, “I ain’t raising no Atheist son” and I was shocked because for one, I had never heard the word “Atheist” before, and I didn’t know she was so defensive about the beginning of the Earth.
Later on, I talked to my cousin, who is 2 years younger than me, about it. We were talking about evolution and the history of the Earth, and the subject of god came up and he said, “What if there isn’t a god?”; He retracted the question quickly, almost fearfully. I thought about it for a while, and I realized that I really didn’t believe in a god anymore because I could never equate it with what I knew to be real.
Around 2004 and 2005, I became more active on the internet and started to find others that didn’t believe like me. Though it wasn’t until recently that I’ve been more active in the Atheist community. I’ve been very reluctant to post things about atheism because of the reactions I usually get, but now when people ask me, or if the topic comes up, I’ll post my views. I still haven’t come out that much in my personal life though. My close family knows, but I’m not sure how many others might know as well.
I started posting videos on a new youtube account because I wanted to get involved in the atheist movement on there, and so far I’ve met some really great people. I’d like to show that life can be so much more beautiful when unnecessary mysticism is removed. I like escapism as much as the next person, but at least I acknowledge that it isn’t real.Tagged with: 1988 • 23 • atheism • Atheist • biology • Christian • cousin • dinosaurs • evolution • family • Josh Tyson • mom • NC • North Carolina • paleontology