Name: Max West
Born: 1981
Location: Franklin, NC
Label: Atheist
Former Religious Affiliation: None! I was born this way!
My Story:
I don’t believe in god. I am an Atheist. This isn’t really news. I was raised as an Atheist. My parents are Atheists, my sister is an Atheist, my wife is an Atheist (formerly fundamentalist pentecostal), and our daughter is an Atheist.
As such, I don’t have one of the tales of struggling within my family that so many here have shared. To those of you who have shared such stories, I want you to know that I commend you and I am proud of you. It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to not only question and change your own beliefs, but in doing so to go against the beliefs and norms of your family and community. I also want to say thank you. Thank you for helping me realise how truly lucky I am to have grown up in a home where questioning my own and other’s beliefs was not only simply allowed or tolerated, but rather encouraged and respected.
I grew up in Houston, Texas. I grew up next door to a church and about a block away from a Buddhist monastery and never attended either. I had friends who were Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Sikh, Atheist and probably others that I wasn’t aware of. Amazingly, religion was never really an issue; most people around me just knew that I didn’t believe in god and it didn’t seem to matter. I’ve only been inside a church a few times in my life. I had been once when I was rather young while visiting with my grandmother and even at that young age found it to be total nonsense. Another time I went because of a girl. Driven by hormones and free food I found myself in the middle of a youth group watching some movie about the rapture. I was amazed at how scared some of the other kids were, some were crying, while I sat there eating pizza and thinking how silly it all was. At one point in the evening the other girl who had brought us asked me if “I was saved?” I had no idea what she was talking about. When she explained it I laughed at her and said “no.”
When I was a teenager my family moved to the rural mountains of North Carolina, where we continue to live. There is quite literally a church on every corner. When I first got here and met new people they asked two questions, “What is your name?” and “What church do you go to?” When I would tell someone that I didn’t go to church, people here would get this confused look on their face and ask “Oh, but you believe in god, right?” After hearing that I didn’t believe in god either, some started preaching at me, some would look at me earnestly and tell me that they would pray for me, and some just backed away slowly. My father worked in construction and found the job sites so hostile that he started telling people he was Jewish. I guess people thought that if he wasn’t a Christian that being a Jewish carpenter was the next best thing. He really kept the charade up, one time chastising my mother’s boss at a barbecue “What do you mean that was pork? I can’t eat pork, I’m Jewish!” My mother teaches elementary school. Once while teaching a science lesson on lifespans a student proudly declared that he knew someone who lived over 900 years.When my mother quizzed him as to who, he said it was Abraham. She dryly replied “You shouldn’t believe everything you read.”
In the area where I live, it is pervasive. In the few miles between my house and town they are a couple of religious billboards and a particularly garish electronic church sign always spewing on about god and Jesus. Far too many local businesses have bible verses, pictures of Jesus or the ten commandments posted. When I was a teenager I went to traffic court once and the ten commandments were posted in the courtroom near the judge, though thankfully they have since been removed. Voting for my precinct is held in a church, I usually vote at the courthouse because of it but when I have voted at the church there have been bible verses posted above the voting booths. My state constitution lists two things that disqualify a person from office, the first is if you would “deny the being of Almighty God” and the second is being a convicted felon or have been impeached.
When my daughter was born I knew for certain (not that there had really been any question before) that god, particularly the christian god, did not exist. When I held my daughter I experienced the complete, unconditional love that a parent has for their child. I understood what my father meant when he told me that there was nothing I could do that would make him not love me, that I could stab him in the back and he would love me as I pushed the knife in. I knew that if god was the father of all humanity, and if he loved everyone as his children, and if he was omnipotent, that he wouldn’t allow any of his children to suffer in hell for eternity or even for a single second. I understood how great a lie it all was, and how harmful and insidious.
My tale isn’t one with an obvious message of “it gets better.” Going from, what at the time was, a fairly progressive city to deep into the Bible Belt, from my completely Atheist family to the community I lived in was somewhat of a struggle, but one that is well worth it. It demands that I stand up for my right to not have religion imposed on me at every turn. And though it is a struggle, and sometimes an outright fight, I do it because I can, and so hopefully others, like my daughter, won’t have to fight quite as hard.
Tagged with: 1981 • Atheist • Franklin • NC • North Carolina
5 Comments
Leave a Comment
Donate to our cause
Advertisement
Get Social With Us
Thanks for sharing your story
Best of luck in the Bible Belt, I feel your pain!
What the heck?!!! The state constitutions says you have to be a theist to run for office! Is this the USA or what?!!! I cry “foul”!
They’re currently fighting that in court. And Atheist was elected on City Council and his competitors are holding a Law suit. They have virtually nothing to their case, so it’s rather obvious that the state constitution will be deemed constitutional, for the federal constitution trumps the state one.
Although your story is not one of “escaping”, it is just as valuable maybe more-so. You and your family are living proof to the the religious communities that unlike their claims, one can exist and grow without religion. And furthermore that morals don’t come from books. We all escaped a horrible fate, but your family represent a future where escape is not necessary. Lets hope your views can rub off a little on your neighbors.
Nice story Max. I’m Sanat Attavar 43yrs old Indian, i’m writing from India. I happened to stumble on to this site and am glad i did, for it allows me to share my experience as well. I was born in India and raised in India, i did travel to the middle east and was there for nearly 12yrs on work and during that time travelled Europe / Far East quite a bit on work as well as vacationing. I’m a father of a 14yrs old boy who presently is in the autism spectrum and i’m a single parent.
I was raised in a Hindu family which din’t really bother whether you prayed or not. My dad did not believe in GOD and my mom did but never prayed openly or daily at home. My elder sister’s did pary every evening and my younger brother joined them. I kinda hero worshiped my Dad and thot’it was cool to say i din’t believe in GOD and did so. When i was 14yrs old, I had to learn a Sanskrit Prayer as part of my School curriculum. I learnt that Prayer and it was kinda cool for it sounded nice and i was happy that i knew it by heart. So i started to pray especially during exams and asked God to pass me and stuff like that. I continued to do this ever after.
There was a time in my life when things were getting to be tough, at that point in time, when i’d pray i started to ask God to show me the right path and i’d follow it irrespective. Slowly i found myself ironing out my life bit by bit. I quit smoking after my son was born, stopped drinking after he was diagonised autistic when he was 2yrs old. Even though the challenges remained and at times got tougher i found myself being able to deal with it, with more and more of easy. I really went through a stressful time but mentally i was unmoved. I had read a fair amount of spiritual stuff as to why bad things happen to good people and had a decent understanding of the same, but i still would pray to God in terms of, get this ok for me / help me through this etc and would end it saying show me the path and i’ll follow. The path kept unfolding very subtly and the situation was getting tougher (I’d to quit my well paying job to move to India if i wanted the custody of my son). I moved to India found myself a decent job and in time i lost it too, wherein i’d really excelled. But my son’s custody issue was not yet through and there were difficulties with regards to that. I just couldn’t understand it, i asked GOD, if right is what i’ve to do, i, to the best of my knowledge have done it and why this now? Please tell me what to do for i really dunno how to go froward. I then happened to chance upon a few books which was sold in a Temple fair about what GOD really is. I read that, started to follow it and it changed my life. Then i realized that my move to India was to get my son’s custody and i was not really pushing for it and had allowed the situation to drift. I took the break from work positively and started to work on my son, whom all this while i’d meet regularly over alternate weekends or so for he was in another city 2 1/2 hours away by air. Things started to change and he moved in with me and i din’t have a job, i was working bits and pieces making enough money to survive take care of my son and myself. To this day i practise what i’ve to practise which is – NOT COMMIT ANY SIN OR MISTAKE KNOWINGLY OR UNKOWINGLY IN MY DEVOTION, THOUGHTS, DEEDS OR WORDS. This i’d been practising for years – yes i’ve committed my share of errors / sins during that time as well but NEVER fell short on my responsibility EVER. To this day i try and work hard and am largely able to follow the regulatory way of life (i do sometimes lose my cool, in traffic situations when people drive with no regard to rules), pary hard and live my life. What i mean to say here is, i achieved all i wanted to achieve only by looking inwards and really not bother what the outside situation was. Things just kept falling in place the way i wanted it and all i had to do was follow the rules put down by GOD which is to live a life free os sins or mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly in our devotion, thoughts, deeds or words – since this is not as simple as it soounds – GOD says to do this ‘think of ME all the time’ and you shall be able to do it. Since a human mind is working all the time in various directions, there are certain practises one has to follow and if he does follow it, he can achieve what GOD has asked him to achieve.
This might not make any sense to you, but what i mean to say is GOD has got nothing to do with religion. Religion has to take man closer to GOD in the truest of sense, but since people have made religion a business the purpose is defeated. All you’ve to do is not listen to people, but to your inner self and ask yourself what is it that i want to know? Do i want to know, the right path in life? Do i want to know GOD? And if you sincerely ask GOD, HE will show you and the experience cannot be written or narrated for it is surreal but is to be experienced. You then understand every leaf that flutters is under HIS command and you start to see why things happen the way they happen. Why some things get delayed? Why certain things, even though so near seem so far? It’s AMAZING.
I’ve made a few comments on other essays posted after you, check on it and it’d be wonderful to exchange notes. The churchs and temples are business places just like car showrooms or departmental stores, which only showcase products – you have to experience them to know if they are good or bad, similarly GOD needs to be sought earnestly. HE is not there to amuse us but help us. For HIM to help us we need to follow certain simple instructions HE’s laid out, just like products / cars have instruction manuals one has to follow. Most if not ALL (including the priests) find that hard – and get stuck in the material way of life. And the few who are good, drift away saying there is no GOD.