Name: Mo Taylor-Boggan
Location: Beaumont, TX
Organization affiliation: Golden Triangle Freethinkers Organization
Label: Atheist
Former Religious Affiliation: Protestant Christian (Baptist)
With Reason: One Woman’s Journey to Atheism
I was reading an article the other night and the topic was about how Christians, or even those of other faiths, always have an “aha” moment that is usually very emotional, but as atheists, typically our metamorphosis usually isn’t quite that simple. The article hit home for me because my journey was a very long one, and there was not really a single moment I could pinpoint and say, “it happened right there,” but instead there were a series of events leading me eventually to atheism.
I had several moments, starting when I was in my early teens, maybe even pre-teens, but fear kept me from exploring those feelings. I would read about the origins of religion, from historical perspectives, and then stop because it was uncomfortable. It wasn’t until sometime in 2010, following the most devout period of my life, that I really began to let myself study the information I had been scared to consider. Coincidentally, this same time frame was when I decided to change my life in many other ways to live as authentic a life as possible (became vegetarian, cut-off all my hair, etc.,) and this transition would not allow me to deny or continue to compartmentalize faith, history, and science, so these conflicting beliefs could exist within the same person. Thus, I began to allow myself to slowly pull away from the indoctrination.
Keep in mind, I’ve always accepted and been a huge proponent of science. I have never doubted the Theory of Evolution, The Big Bang, or any other scientific discovery, but I simply did not allow myself to compare those understandings of the world to what faith would have us believe. I feel that many people live with this cognitive dissonance or separation within their own brains to allow themselves the study of scientific theories whose existence directly contradict their faith-based beliefs. This dissonance became a burden I was no longer willing to bear.
However, it wasn’t until fall of last year when I made the decision to share these feelings, and at that point I was already a non-believer. Maybe not in a god just yet, but most certainly in this European image of Jesus, and as an African American woman, it never made sense to me that blacks would have willingly traded in their own customs from Africa in exchange for a forced savior. Of the limited historical substantiation for this Jesus, at best he was a Jewish preacher. The deification was entirely man-made along with all the other pieces of Christianity and every other religion for that matter … but back to me.
In the end, it came down to my children really. There was a woman at a church I attended, and she wrote a children’s book about Noah and his ark explaining why there were no dinosaurs today. Before I even looked at the text, I knew this woman would say dinosaurs were extinct because Noah could not fit them on the ark. Groan. My daughter, Daileigh, says she wants to be a physician. I could not look her in the eye and lie to her about the origins of the universe, and other things we have discovered through science, and have her enter a world of scientific inquiry ill prepared.
In the dark ages, before the dawn of science, man was scared and didn’t understand the world around him and these fables made him feel better in the midst of a thunderstorm or typhoon. Now science has explained many things previously not understood but people continue to believe in the fables. I choose not to accept things for which we now have scientific explanations for in place of this fiction. Does the fiction feel good? Yes, but this does not make it true. The real world is beautiful and magical (in the poetic sense) because it is … naturally.
I respect everyone’s right to believe as they choose; I just encourage others to study all information available to them before making a choice. You don’t have to be a believer by default, and if you are coming out of your own indoctrination, you are not alone. I suffered in silence, but now I’m happy I did because I wasn’t under the influence of any person but within my own thoughts, synthesizing information into my own understanding of the world, and for me the only logical, reasonable choice is atheism.
Was it an easy choice? No. It has been one of the most difficult, but liberating choices I have made. There were many, many tears in the process, along with intense thought all the way, and there isn’t a theological question I have not pondered in my journey. Initially I couldn’t even utter the word “atheist”, or accept it as a label, but now I embrace it proudly. Why proudly?
This is an excerpt from a response I wrote encouraging my friend to stand strong against those disapproving of her transition to atheism:
“I have been fortunate to have friends, at least, that although they may not agree with my position, have not disowned me. I wish the same could be said for some of my family. I have family members who will not interact with me in any capacity at this point. But I’ve decided that is okay.
It seems so contrite at this point, but the saying is true, “Those who mind, don’t matter, and those who matter, won’t mind.” I find it is the people the most unsure of their own faith who have struggles with yours. It is equally difficult for them to realize that the beautiful, smart, funny, talented person you have always been is still there … even without god, and it goes against everything they’ve believed all this time. What if you’re right? They are thinking it, even if they aren’t saying it.
I can’t put into words how it warms my heart to know that by speaking up I am encouraging others to do the same. I know it isn’t easy, but when it seems difficult think of the world you will leave to your babies because of your boldness, more tolerant, more rational, more loving.”
These are the reasons I feel it necessary to speak up.
So here I am, a working divorced mother, raising my four children, a full-time college student, living in Texas, and yes I am an atheist. I’m also a friend, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, an advisor, a confidant. I’m still the strong, feisty, compassionate, and bubbly woman I have always been, and I am all of those things because I am…not because some external force created me this way. I love and appreciate everyone in my life now more than ever, especially those who accept me for who I am, unconditionally.
Love is love!
Tagged with: Atheist • Baptist • Beaumont • Golden Triangle Freethinkers Organization • Protestant Christian • Texas • TX
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Our lives are so often intertwined with religion and the supernatural, for example in the media and even in our language, it’s no wonder we find it difficult to wrench ourselves away, even when we have realised how impossible are those beliefs into which we were inculcated. Worse still, our friends and relations often find so much comfort in their beliefs they refuse to question them, which can leave us feeling isolated. Well done, therefore, for having the courage of your convictions and publicly declaring yourself an atheist. The more who do the more support there will be for those who, like you, have rejected their beliefs but who still find it difficult to declare their atheism or join a humanist, sceptic or atheist group. Congratulations.
That brought a little emotion out of me there. This is a good piece. I can definitely relate in many ways and am more encouraged to remain outspoken about my non-belief! *highfive* on this one Mo!
Hi.
It didn’t want to post this. Will try again…
I was looking up a child actor (that I thought looked familiar) in a movie I watched called “The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry”. His name is Taylor (Scott) Boggan. I saw your link and clicked on it and it brought me here. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I felt as you did (not believing in God) but something changed my life on March 12, 1972, 2 months before my 17th birthday. I heard kids talking about Jesus in my high school and a group of them came to my church (that my parents dragged me to). I heard the usual stuff – how He loved me and left Heaven to live among us to give His life for us. Ignored it and scoffed at my believing friends and continued to go out drinking on weekends with my “friends”. I heard that God is just and had to pass judgement on sin but didn’t want to punish us so He provided a way out for us. I kept pushing it away. I heard that Jesus was God and chose to be born here at Christmas in fulfillment of the Old Testament but I didn’t understand the whole process so chose to disregard it. I heard that somehow, as a part of the trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit), God, Jesus allowed (yes ALLOWED because He had the choice) God to pour out His “wrath” on sin ON HIM then to transfer the payment to us if we wanted it. I heard that God proposed the idea to Jesus and He accepted. It says He chose obedience, even when that meant death ON A CROSS. I don’t know about dinosaurs… I don’t know about Adam and Eve, I don’t know about how long it took to create the world (7 days or 777 billion years). That’s not important. ALL I KNOW IS, that one Sunday night I asked Someone I didn’t even believe in to come into my life IF all these things that people were saying about Him were true. The next day I woke up a different person. And thanks for the compliment if you’re going to say I changed myself but, alas I can’t take credit for it. I went home and went to bed. When I woke up, I was a different person. All my anger and self-loathing was gone. I went to school as usual and the kids gathered around my locker to hear more stories about my drunken weekend and instead I told them that I got “saved”. They backed away and never came back. Except for a couple of them. After a few weeks they cautiously approached and told me they noticed how I had changed OVERNIGHT, RADICALLY. I told them it was all God. That was 40 years ago and I still don’t know about how long it took God to create the world, or about Adam and Eve or about dinosaurs. But now I know I can ask when I see Him. I don’t even really know what “Heaven” will be like but I won’t make the mistake of asking fellow believers. I’ll listen to teachers and preachers and ask God to help me strain out the “bad” ones or the phonies or the ones who are honestly in error. Please, Mo… don’t take this chance with your eternal soul. If I’m WRONG and you’re RIGHT and we just go into nothingness, you’ve got nothing to lose. But if I’m RIGHT… are you willing to take such a HUMONGOUS chance??? Think about it… have you ever thought for sure you were right about something to just find at some point you were wrong? How chilling that would be if it was in this instance? Yes, the preaching of the cross is foolishness… TO THEM THAT ARE PERISHING. Perish here doesn’t mean oblivion. It means eternal life OUT OF GOD’S PRESENCE. I believe that there are two destinations after we die. In God’s presence and OUT of God’s presence. Everything good in your life is proof of His existence. Everything bad is proof of sin and evil that He came to save us from. Have you ever noticed that when something good happens no one says “wow… God is so good” but when something bad happens the immediate response is an angry “how could God do this…” All of a sudden there is a God. Hmmm… Anyway, the enemy of your soul doesn’t want you to find out about this gift from God. He wants to destroy you and everyone He can. He’s happy that people think he’s just a little red thing with a pitch fork and a tail that comes out around Hallowe’en. The god of this world is blinding the minds of the people to the glorious truth of God’s precious gift. I heard that Mel Gibson blamed the death of Jesus on the Jews. Mel apparently is Catholic BUT STILL DIDN’T GET IT — WHO KILLED JESUS? MEL DID. I DID. WE ALL DID. God created us and we chose to blow Him off and do what we wanted which, as you know can get UGLY. If we were able to reach His level on our own, He would let us. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE SEE THIS INCREDIBLE LOVE?? God knew that even if a few could reach His level, the vast majority couldn’t so He levelled the playing field and made provision for “whosoever will”. And He said anyone who comes to Him He will in NO WAY cast off. PLEASE, MO, PUT ALL THE DINOSAUR ETC. INFO ASIDE AND JUST ASK HIM IF HE IS THERE AND ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU. IF YOU’RE SINCERE HE WILL. If you’re not interested, He won’t force Himself on you. He is gentle. HE RESPONDED TO ME AND MILLIONS OF OTHERS. I am NOT better than you. I’m just a beggar telling other beggars where he found life. Bless you…
I also had an experience which led me to believe that there is a God and that the only way to God is thru Jesus. But first, I want to address your statement that you said you had lied and that didn’t make you feel good! I think that that is good. God does not like lieing, neither do I and neither do you. GOD CALLS LIEING A SIN. That is exactly why you were convicted to hate lieing because you want to be an honest person. It is God who gives us a conscience to not want to lie. God has planted in us eternity. That is to say, each one of us would like to live forever. When we realize that it is wrong to “lie” or any number of other things God calls sin, we realize one day that we can’t stop sinning in every area of our lives. For example you may have learned to have integrity about not lieing, but do you do other things that God calls sin? Do you fornicate, steal, use God’s name in vain, covet your neighbor, love money or fame more than God. That’s called idiolitry. So you see none of us could actually stand before God and said that we are innocent. So how can I expect to live forever, if I sin and God says the wages of sin is death? That is to say seperation from God for eternity. As long as were alive, we have air to breath, a body to live in, etc. God takes care of us, even when we don’t acknowledge him. He even puts you in the part of the world that would best indoctrinate you into his kingdom that you might know him. Now to my story, I was raised by a father whose father was in a car accident and his head severed. He never accepted Jesus, because like so many people he couldn’t understand a God who would let this happen. The truth is that God gives us choices and some choices can lead to death. My mother was a Christian but hurt by church people and did not attend church all her life,but watched TV church. At 13 years old, my mother had always told us that children are a blessing from God and I believed her. At 13, I said I was saved at church camp, even though I wasn’t yet. Satan an angel who was kicked out of heaven because he wanted to be God, got real mad at what I said and tried to kill me. i hit a tree tobogging. Ladies prayed for me and when I woke up from surgery, I knew who Jesus was God. It wasn’t until 14 years later that I accepted him. So your experience led you to believe that there was no God? I think you have a belief system that you reinforce when you say, I am an atheist. God gives us a free will, to trust him or not trust him?
Are you mad at your father for not telling you his true opinion for 30 years? No, you’ve forgiven him or at least not let that worry you that he withheld “his truth” from you for 30 years. I on the other hand, at 13 years old acknowledged that I was a liar, and that I didn’t deserve to live forever, being a liar. So what was I to do to be able to live forever? I acknowledged that ONLY THE GOD WHO MADE ME COULD MAKE A WAY FOR ME TO LIVE FOREVER. THAT FOLKS IS THE GOOD NEWS, THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST. GOD HAS AFFIRMED THAT HE IS HIS SON, AND THAT HE PAID THE PENTALITY FOR MY SINS AND YOURS. HIS PART IS PAID IN FULL, NOW YOU MUST DECIDE WILL YOU RECEIVE THE FREE PARDON FOR YOUR SINS, A PRICE THAT JESUS PAID OR WILL YOU SAY, NOPE I DON’T BELIEVE THAT JUNK? EITHER YOUR GOD OR HE’S GOD, WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?
Question: Do you believe in God? Answer: No Question: Why? Answer: If God existed there would be no pain or war. Question: So you made your decision? Answer: Yes. Question: Why? Answer:…………. This is the true logic of this conversation. Why? Why is there a choice to be made in the first place??? And if one chooses to be an atheist it’s because they only wish for self-gain rather than the love of God. Their hearts have been hardened. I understand the lack of proof there is existent among us as people. Don’t get me wrong. However for everything that has matter such as: protons, neutrons, and electrons could only come from something else of matter. We all know that you cannot have something from nothing existent. Maybe you should re-think over your choice.